Six Degrees of Separation maybe?

i've been moody these few days. no, these few weeks should be, since before my birthday. and i don't really know why. felt like i have something in my heart indescribable, something i wish to get, or solve, or find, I JUST DON'T KNOW. it's really hard to know the answer, like some sort of finding my soul bleerhhh don't know... or maybe i don't have enough chocolates lately? it's annoying to be in this state. can't move forward, can't move backward too... bet some people had experienced this feeling before, or maybe just me?

well, i came across this song today. it's from The Script. love this band because of the style they sing. well this song is a bit special. i don't usually check out a person/band's new song right after they released a news about their new songs, but this time, i just did. so i checked out the song, it is named "Six Degrees of Separation"  and it goes like the lyric below

You've read the books, 
You've watched the shows, 
What's the best way no one knows, yeah, 
Meditate, get hypnotized. 
Anything to take from your mind. 
But it won't go 

You're doing all these things out of desperation, 
Ohhh woah, 
You're going through six degrees of separation. 

You hit the drink, you take a toll 
Watch the past go up in smoke. 
Fake a smile, yeah, lie and say that, 
I'm better now than ever, and your life's okay 
Well it's not. No 
You're doing all these things out of desperation, 
Ohhh woah, 
You're going through six degrees of separation. 

First, you think the worst is a broken heart 
What's gonna kill you is the second part 
And the third, is when your world splits down the middle 
And fourth, you're gonna think that you fixed yourself 
Fifth, you see them out with someone else 
And the sixth, is when you admit that you may have messed up a little. 

(No, no, there ain't no help, it's every man for himself) 

You tell your friends, yeah, strangers too, 
Anyone'll throw an arm around you, yeah 
Tarot cards 
Gems and stones, 
Believing all that shit is gonna heal your soul. 
We'll it's not, no 

You're only doing things out of desperation, 
Ohhh woah, 
You're goin' through six degrees of separation. 

First, you think the worst is a broken heart 
What's gonna kill you is the second part 
And the third, Is when your world splits down the middle 
And fourth, you're gonna think that you fixed yourself 
Fifth, you see them out with someone else 
And the sixth, is when you admit that you may have messed up a little. 

No there's no starting over, 
Without finding closure, 
You'd take them back, 
No hesitation, 
That's when you know you've reached the sixth degree of separation 

No there's no starting over, 
Without finding closure, 
You'd take them back, 
No hesitation, 
That's when you know you've reached the sixth Degree of separation 

First, you think the worst is a broken heart 
What's gonna kill you is the second part 
And the third, Is when your world splits down the middle 
And fourth, you're gonna think that you fixed yourself 
Fifth, you see them out with someone else 
And the sixth, is when you admit that you may have messed up a little.

i don't know why, i feel like the lyrics are talking to me. maybe i do feel sad and pain and emotional all the time because i'm going through the six degree of separation? maybe i'm really doing things out of desperation? that's why i'm demanding something else from other people all the time? maybe it's a sign that i should not be desperate in many things in my life? especially in all my relationships? i saw this in Twitter yesterday, "If you aren't happy being single you will never be happy in a relationship. Get you own life and love it first, then share it." probably desperation is the root of all my problems. maybe i should just let go of certain things, bit by bit...

Better Together

i was bored, so i saw many people tweeting about this girl named Neelofa... don't really know who is she so i checked it on google. i went to her website, and i heard this song! it's a really nice song from Jack Johnson, the singer for Good People... haa this just made my day sweeter, as i already felt so happy that my favorite badminton player Dato' Lee Chong Wei is married! he looked so handsome and his wife Wong Mew Choo too, prettyyyyyyy! wish i am at their wedding now! HAPPY MARRIAGE LCW and WMC! 

祝你们百年好合，白头谐老！

let's listen to this song until we sleep tonight! :)

"Better Together"
There's no combination of words
I could put on the back of a postcard
No song that I could sing
But I can try for your heart, 
our dreams, and they are made out of real things
like a shoebox of photographs
with sepia-toned loving
Love is the answer
at least for most of the questions in my heart, like
Why are we here? And where do we go?
And how come it's so hard?
It's not always easy and
sometimes life can be deceiving
I'll tell you one thing, it's always better when we're together

Mmmm, It's always better when we're together
Yeah we'll look at the stars and we're together
Well, it's always better when we're together
Yeah it's always better when we're together

And all of these moments
just might find their way into my dreams tonight,
But I know that theyll be gone
when the morning light sings
and brings new things
for tomorrow night you see
that theyll be gone too,
too many things I have to do
But if all of these dreams might find their way
into my day to day scene
I'd be under the impression
i was somewhere in between
With only two,
Just me and you,
Not so many things we got to do
or places we got to be
We'll sit beneath the mango tree, now,

Yeah It's always better when we're together
Mmmm, we're somewhere in between together
Well, it's always better when we're together
Yeah, it's always better when we're together

mmmmmmm

I believe in memories
they look so, so pretty when I sleep
Hey now, and when I wake up,
you look so pretty sleeping next to me
But there is not enough time,
There is no, no song I could sing
and there is no combination of words I could say
but I will still tell you one thing
We're Better together

Turning 21...

it's been raining every day lately, every evening around 4pm, with thunder and lightnings...
i don't like lightnings and thunders, they made me scared. i don't like it to rain every day either, it makes the weather cool but sticky, and my mood turns to be as gloomy as the dark sky...

i'm turning 21 in two days... wow... i should feel happy, but for real, i don't feel so...
am i weird? i don't know...
21... a very important number. so in Chinese family, usually we'll receive a gold key pendant as a symbol of FREEDOM. so after you get the key, you should have the freedom and you can take control and make decision in your life. i'm not sure whether mom is going to give me gold key, but that doesn't matter, coz i don't really wear accessories... and i think i had enough freedom from her for now...
21... it's the beginning of adulthood. what i mean by that is that i'm no longer a teenager, i can start voting, if i conduct a crime i'll be put into jail, not rehab center... and all sorts of things will change like people will expect you to act like an adult, behave like an adult... oh ya not to forget about credit cards... salespersons start swarming towards you coz you're finally able to be one of their customer! and bills, responsibilities.... etc...

well, i don't know why i'm feeling moody. somehow, i feel like it's a changing point from what i used to be and what i want to be... i wanna be a better person after this of course! have been training for it already... i told my friend that my birthday is coming soon, so excited while talking about it but i just feel that something is missing, and i don't know what is it...

that day is a Thursday, people will be busy with classes, so am i... some of my friends (Fifi and Lily) already gave me my birthday presents as they have left to their hometown for good, i wanna thank them so much! the older i grow, the less i care about the presents actually, as long as you have the heart. but i'll still keep it :) oh yah, that's a Thursday, middle of the semester, when everyone is busy. haha what a good day! -,- i wish i could celebrate this special day with my family but they're not going to be here on that day... my old schoolmates WOPPY, none of them will be here too... and also AWEPIC... some are busy with work, some are too far away, and some even sulk like a kid until today... i would rather change all my presents with their presence, to see me blowing my candles, to watch me grow up...
......it just won't happen, i know... and i'm crying right now knowing that i couldn't get my biggest wish fulfilled. :'(

so dear god, if you can hear me... i just wish that day will be a happy day for me, even though those people can't be here with me on Thursday... it shouldn't be a sad day after all, it's my 21st birthday...

learned something new...

it's a Sunday, my friend Jan Fai could not work today, so he asked me to replace him.
i went to work at 10am today, as usual, unpack the bar counter and place all the Glenlivet whiskey on the bar counters for sampling and display (coz i'm a sales promoter for the brand)

not much thing to do there as the customers in Cold Storage Mont Kiara was quite little, so i brought my storybook Roald Dahl's The BFG to read. suddenly, a man came, and i didn't know he's the ambassador that came to help me to promote the whiskey... haha... things changed after that :)

people start coming to the counter coz of the special things he put in the glasses. we didn't really talk at first, he was looking at his iPad, i was reading my book. then we talked, and i get to found out that he owned a PR company, a restaurant, and he also invested in a wine company and he has a qualified licence for wines and spirit. i think he still has some other businesses but that's already more than i could think of...

he helped me differentiate what's PR, marketing, and advertising. we were talking about which job i wanna find after i graduate that time. interesting topics that we talked about, like LEGOLAND (one of his clients), James Bond and Heineken, and many things... i feel like i'm talking to an encyclopedia... so much of knowledge he has about everything, or maybe my knowledge and exposure to everything we talked were too little, i don't know... hahaha. he also introduced the most expensive bacon in the world which cause RM 36 per 100 gm.. and also the air dried pork cheek... serve it with 12 years Glenlivet Single Malt Whiskey, ahhhhhh heaven... it tastes sweet!

oh i'm so glad i met him today. how i wish i could meet this kind of inspirational, motivational, successful people in my life every week to keep me moving on and know my goals. i'm now inspired! :)

Just my recent feelings.

haven't been writing for so long, i miss writing so much...

i'm exhausted! had never been so busy like this before, as i work and study for 7 days a week now! 

Monday work, Tuesday classes, Wednesday class and work, Thursday class and scholarship duty, Friday work, Saturday work, Sunday work... 

oh ya, and also meetings in between those classes for the club, assignments, etc...

my life is all about eat, sleep, work, study, and meetings now... and occasionally meeting up some friends during lunch or dinner time... i feel tired. 

i have never been so busy for so many weeks in my life before. if i had this situation years ago, i think i would have end up burnout and gone into depression. now, i'm feeling so hyper everyday, and this is weird. it's like i am excited to finish my work but i just have not enough energy... this schedule has changes me a lot. i'm even anticipating to go to class nowadays, that's WOW, for me... i'm a lazy girl...i don't like to go to class, but this time it's different. and my mood, i feel like i don't even bother any things that will make me unhappy anymore. how to summarize this? STRESS makes me motivated? hahaha

is this normal? i don't know... but what i just wish to have now is a good sleep everyday and wake up with good skin. :) bye, i'm gonna start writing again when i'm free...


when things make you too busy, learn to set priorities. :)

Updated wishes. Come on you can do it!

updated wishes! 
it's August now, let's see what i've done.
#1  Think less  I DID IT!!
#2  Get a job that pays a good amount (in the process weee!)
#3  Be confident!
#4  Be who I want to be not others want me to be
#5  Travel
#6  Find myself (i'm alwiz confused)
#7  Watching every episode of How I Met Your Mother
#8  Accept my insecurities I DID IT!!
#9  Be a better person to the people around me (be less hot-tempered)
#10 Become less shy
#11 Redecorate my room DONE! AND I'M HAPPY WITH IT!
#12 Appreciate the little things
#13 Get back together with my true love  OUTDO myself
#14 Get an Iphone
#15 Get a little bit taller (imma shorty just so you know)
#16 Watch the sunrise at the beach
#17 Learn a Nicki Minaj song
#18 Buy a pair of gorgeous heels
#19 Learn how to play the guitar ukelele for now ;)
#20 Read more
#21 Find someone who will treat me right, get rid of those who treat me wrong
#22 Be happy
#23 Road Trip with friends
#24 Start saving money
#25 Go on camping with friends
#26 Learn another language (Korean,maybe?)
#27 Be strong!
#28 Get my first Nike shoes NIKE AIR! FROM JOHOR PREMIUM OUTLET 
#29 Adopt sugar glider I DON'T WANT IT ANYMORE.
#30 Learn how to sing properly
#31 Spend more time with family
#32 Play in the rain  DONE, AND IT MAKES ME SICK THE NEXT DAY :(
#33 Go on a trip with WOPPY

gonna change some of them coz i have different insight of different goals now. :)

How To Be So "High" Like Me?

okay first of all, when i talk to you guys happily and compliment you, i mean it.
i'm not drunk, maybe sometimes i am, so please don't ask me whether i am drunk anot when i say good words. APPRECIATE IT please... coz you'll never get those words anymore when i'm really in bad mood. hahaha

so, how to be so "high" and happy? (at least for some period), coz there's no such thing like forever happiness lah as you know.

1. don't take things too seriously. (lecturers, friends, family, roommates, whoever can make you angry, but you don't have to take things too seriously, coz they'll die eventually, sounds so bad, but it's true!)

2. don't angry for too long. (if it's not going to change things, make sure you don't angry for too long coz it will make you feel really sick, like i used to. no appetite, no mood, bla bla bla, you don't want that.)

3. watch SPORTS and be supportive! (this is a must, for me. where else can you shout like a mad person and be so aggressive except watching sports, especially live one! it feels so good cheering for your fav sportsmen or your fav team, trust me)

Hockey

Kaka from Football

Lee Chong Wei from Badminton

4. eat and shit. (eating good and nice food makes me feel good! and the even better feeling is when you pass out yesterday's food and accept new food again. wow, that's why chefs exist!)

5. cuddle in your blanket everyday. (like a teddy bear hugging you)

6. imagine you're in love. ( yah this sounds a bit crazy bit eventually you will really feel the love there, somewhere there hehehhe)

7. sleep well. (like a dead fish and wake up excitingly)

8. smile and laugh to whatever you think it's happy and funny. :)


9. don't watch too much of sad dramas. it will affect your emotion.

10. meet more people, more old friends, and do things you like. (like the duty i just went. it feels so good knowing i don't have to just study as a student)

ok i guess that's all. i hope this works for you too... :) (i'm sober)