Turning 21...

it's been raining every day lately, every evening around 4pm, with thunder and lightnings...
i don't like lightnings and thunders, they made me scared. i don't like it to rain every day either, it makes the weather cool but sticky, and my mood turns to be as gloomy as the dark sky...

i'm turning 21 in two days... wow... i should feel happy, but for real, i don't feel so...
am i weird? i don't know...
21... a very important number. so in Chinese family, usually we'll receive a gold key pendant as a symbol of FREEDOM. so after you get the key, you should have the freedom and you can take control and make decision in your life. i'm not sure whether mom is going to give me gold key, but that doesn't matter, coz i don't really wear accessories... and i think i had enough freedom from her for now...
21... it's the beginning of adulthood. what i mean by that is that i'm no longer a teenager, i can start voting, if i conduct a crime i'll be put into jail, not rehab center... and all sorts of things will change like people will expect you to act like an adult, behave like an adult... oh ya not to forget about credit cards... salespersons start swarming towards you coz you're finally able to be one of their customer! and bills, responsibilities.... etc...

well, i don't know why i'm feeling moody. somehow, i feel like it's a changing point from what i used to be and what i want to be... i wanna be a better person after this of course! have been training for it already... i told my friend that my birthday is coming soon, so excited while talking about it but i just feel that something is missing, and i don't know what is it...

that day is a Thursday, people will be busy with classes, so am i... some of my friends (Fifi and Lily) already gave me my birthday presents as they have left to their hometown for good, i wanna thank them so much! the older i grow, the less i care about the presents actually, as long as you have the heart. but i'll still keep it :) oh yah, that's a Thursday, middle of the semester, when everyone is busy. haha what a good day! -,- i wish i could celebrate this special day with my family but they're not going to be here on that day... my old schoolmates WOPPY, none of them will be here too... and also AWEPIC... some are busy with work, some are too far away, and some even sulk like a kid until today... i would rather change all my presents with their presence, to see me blowing my candles, to watch me grow up...
......it just won't happen, i know... and i'm crying right now knowing that i couldn't get my biggest wish fulfilled. :'(

so dear god, if you can hear me... i just wish that day will be a happy day for me, even though those people can't be here with me on Thursday... it shouldn't be a sad day after all, it's my 21st birthday...

I'm a Scorpio

friends have been telling me that i'm very into horoscopes. hahaha, yeah i really love to read things about horoscopes because i think i can find many information to determine a person's nature. i mean not like it's 100% correct but at least i know how to deal with them and understand why they're acting that way. 

so... i'm a Scorpio. 

usually people define the Scorpios as very determined, reserved, loyal, and secretive. Magnetic, elusive, sexy, bla bla bla, oh ya even good kisser things like that. hmm, i don't know whether it's true for everyone else but somehow i think i am what as described (at least most of it). or probably it's just common traits and whether you're a Scorpio you'll still have it. but it doesn't really matter.

with friends, i think it's good to know that there are friends who are also Scorpio. i feel close to them, like "oh we're from the same family" that sort of feeling. also, it's easier to get along with them, i don't know why... maybe because we share the same month of birthdays? i really feel happy knowing that people are also from the same month. like setting up our own kingdom of Scorpios, do not invade. hahaha... 

well, nothing much to say about this. just wanna share some of my thoughts about this because i really think this is interesting. 

so here's some other funny descriptions about  Scorpios.
and the picture is so weird and cute. hahaha.

have a nice day! :)